By Carly Crossley
I was teased as a kid for having a big mouth; not in the sense of talking too much, which I'm sure my teachers would argue, but for literally having cartoonishly large features. The things that you remember from childhood are always so random, but it stuck with me as a negative for a really long time. As an adult, I was embarrassed by the attention it attracted, so for most of my life, Chapstick was my only friend.
Fast forward forward to a few years ago; skipping through the annals of the new-mom era fraught with track jackets, chucks and ponytails (I still love all three of those so so much). I found myself having a fashion enlightenment, a beauty awakening. A light bulb went off and I heard angels sing to me: what would Gwen Stefani do? My mind was reeling. Oh my God! Gwen would be mortified to leave the house looking like I did!
I had always prided my inner jock over my inner girly girl. My mother, who to this day dresses immensely better than I do and supplies half my wardrobe with her hand-me-downs, would simply roll her eyes as I'd come out of practice wearing a hoodie, my spandex volleyball shorts, Dr. Martens and proclaim, "What's wrong with this?" when she would let me know that we were not actually going straight home. I thought this was actual confidence- a good thing. The "I'm not embarrassed to go to the store in *those* pants" (we all have a pair) mentality. But then again, who's to separate me from Walmart Pajama Pants Lady.
Step one of WWGSD was to set rules for appropriate times to be caught in public wearing yoga pants. (This is a true story and perhaps I'll share the list some day.) Step two, my most favorite stage, involved boots. The most important, however, was embracing Gwen's signature move.
This venture, sub-categorized as operation: make grandma smile in heaven (she wore lipstick like every moment of every day) was, while perhaps perceived as shallow to some, incredibly empowering to me. I actually overcame a completely real and irrational fear. I found a confidence in myself, and in that: more beauty than any tube of colored cream could ever provide. To me, WWGSD became an actual mantra about feeling good about myself.
Deciding to choose jeans over sweats was not hard, nor profound, but to spend 4 seconds applying lipstick changes the entire way I feel about myself when I walk out the door. The pseudo confidence I thought I possessed to go out in any and everything is nothing compared to the spark I feel or the way I smile when I have "my lips on."
Do I wear it all day everyday? Heck no, but never once have I been asked WHY I'm wearing it. If I were though, the answer would be, "Because *I* like it." I feel like I've finally grown up, finally become a woman.
Today I embrace who I am, and take my biggest insecurity and make it into my biggest statement. My feminism doesn't come from burning bras and doing anything a man can do. Mine is in the form of doing things only I can do. I'm no longer needing to blend in, I am ready to be seen for me.
I've adopted many more mantras since that fateful moment. My style has grown and evolved more in the last two years than at any other time in my life. Some of my favorite inspirations for fashion, hair, and beauty are Nicole Ritchie, Drew Barrymore, and Zooey Deschanel, but I still owe the biggest thank you to Gwen for pulling me out of my shell.
Carly Crossley
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